THE CROSSROADS
By Steve Baxley

As I turned 39, I see myself hitting the crossroads
the unknown as some would call it

Just what is this crossroads
is it gods way of testing me for whats beyond
or what?

I've turned 39
and right now I seek a "gas station" to tell me which direction to go
but no "gas station" has been found

I wonder as I walk the path just what lies beyond
I wonder if I'll ever know just what is next
and if i'll really be alone.

I regret Ive left no markers for my accomplishments are few
I wonder if i'll be remembered
for just me being here for you

I seek the wisdom of the world, and yet have not once sipped from the well of knowldge
I try to figure out my life,if only to be discouraged

I seek support from my friends
and tho I thank tham all

I find that I'm alone in my quest
and I hate loneliness most of all

My heart tho whole has a part thats gone,
for that I fear never to be found

For as I enter the crossroads of my life,
I enter it alone

These tears I shed are for my loss,
of family I cherish much,
For the crossroads I have entered
are filled with memories of my heart

Of friends and family I have lossed
of things so precious in life

As I enter the crossroads of my journey
to a vast unknown,

What vision do I see
what memories will I have
I cant talk to my mother about things
that I could talk about with my dad

My life to date has been well documented,
My life has been well known,
But I dont wish to continue this journey
for I am all alone

The crossroads have me question my presence on this earth,
the life I led I re examine
for my world has changed too much

The crossroads I have come to
may have cost me a true love
maybe this IS a test of my loyalty

The crossroads I have come upon have no sign of directoion,
the only thing that I can see...

Is the hand of fate
who knows where it will take me

Of if I can ever trust it again

-Steve Baxley